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When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he
began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his
friends in the evening.Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very
angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.One evening when Tom
came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at
Tom's clothes very carefully.Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my
ties, Tom?""Yes, Father, it is." answered Tom."And that shirt's mine too,
isn't that one of my ties, Tom?""Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom."And
you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard."Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom.
" You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
The first grade class gathered around the teacher for a game of "Guess the
Animal." The first picture the teacher held up was of a cat. "Okay boys and
girls," she said brightly, "can anyone tell me what this is?""I know, I
know, it's a cat!" yelled a little boy. "Very good Eddie. Now, who knows
what this animal is called?" "That's a dog!" piped up the same little boy.
"Right again. And what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
deer. Silence fell over the class. After a minute or two, the teacher said,
"I'll give you a hint, children...it's something your mother calls your
father." 
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