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I see an urgent need for BIGGER PROTOZOA.

Dr. Dennis Goode GOODE at ZOOL.UMD.EDU
Fri Jun 3 12:40:05 EST 1994

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> From: kibo at world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
> Subject: I see an urgent need for BIGGER PROTOZOA.
> Message-ID: <Cqt8Ep.Bu1 at world.std.com>
> Reply-To: kibo at world.std.com
> Date: Fri, 3 Jun 1994 07:20:48 GMT

Kibo said:
> Okay, so the ameba Chaos Carolinensis is the world's largest protozoan,
> standing a hefty 1/10mm tall.  It looks like a dot to the naked eye.
> Big fat hairy deal!  What this world needs is a protozoan big enough to
> not only hold in your hand, but to hold up to the light so you can watch
> all the little internal thingies oozing around with the naked eye.
> Heck, you could even keep this hypthetical Big Protozoan as a pet.
> You could slice it up and have a tasty snack, or you could substitute it
> for the lost beanbag in that old Toss Across(R) game in your attic.
> Someone needs to breed a really big ameba, and a really big paramecium,
> and a really big euglena.  After all, otherwise we'll never know what
> SOUND they make when they crawl around!  Do they go "goosh goosh", or
> "slurrrrrrp", or "skritch skritch", or even "whirrrrrr"?  Does a paramecium 
> with a missing cilium go "99-thump"?   WE DON'T KNOW!  THEY'RE TOO SMALL!
> Inagine if you had a euglena the size of a horse so that you could ride it.  
> Whipping around at 300 scale miles per hour, you'd be the coolest!
> Imagine having an ameba you could use as a garbage disposal--twenty
> digestive vacuoles, no waiting!
> Yes, science could provide humanity with an endless source of fun merely
> by figuring out how to make little critters really big.  Maybe exposing
> them to an atomic blast will make them grow to enormous proportions,
> like it did to those ants!
> And although I know it's an algae colony and not a mere protozoan, I'd
> also like to request that the scientific community develop a way of
> making a volvox large enough to use as a geodesic dome.  I'm tired of
> living in this darn diatom!
>                             -- K.
Kibo, you sound like you've been hitting the  yeast by-product early 
this Fri.
   But in response:
The giant kelp are brown algae and thus are considered protists;
but if you want a protozoan, the plasmodial stage of Physarum, which 
I consider a protozoan ( its neither fungus nor alga), can get big 
enough to fill your plate at dinner time. Excallent lightly sauteed 
in oil with onions and a little Tobasco sauce as slime-mold jambaliya.

And if you're partial to amebae, we have Pelomyxa palustris from a 
pond in MD that get 20x bigger (2-4 mm) than Chaos. 

Bon appetite and happy listening.

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