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Children and careers

Lori Kohlstaedt kohlstaedt at sbmm1.ucsb.edu
Mon Jan 16 17:12:26 EST 1995

I would just like to inject what I think is a necessary cautionary note
here.  Among my aquaintance, for every professional who is happy with their
kids there seems to be another who really wishes their family was smaller or
non-existent.  People in the latter catagory don't talk about it much or
post it to news groups.  I think a lot of them feel ashamed of themselves
because we're all trained to think that we're supposed to want a family
above all else and enjoy our children more than anything else.
    I say that the happy individual will be the one who has children or not
depending on an informed, carefully considered decision about what is right
for them personally.  Beware the popular myth that life is unfulfilling
without reproduction!  Maybe fulfullment should be considered to be getting
three out of four of the things you want the most.  Decide first whether
children are even in the top four, then decide what the likelihood of
getting the other three will be if children do make it into the top four. 
This formula is too simplistic, obviously, but it makes the point.
    A family is not the right thing for everyone!
Lori Kohlstaedt
Dept. of Chemistry, UCSB
(805) 893-8687
<Reciprocal Space, the Final Frontier>

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