Lori Kohlstaedt (kohlstaedt at sbmm1.ucsb.edu) wrote:
: I would just like to inject what I think is a necessary cautionary note
: here. Among my aquaintance, for every professional who is happy with their
: kids there seems to be another who really wishes their family was smaller or
: non-existent. People in the latter catagory don't talk about it much or
: post it to news groups. I think a lot of them feel ashamed of themselves
: because we're all trained to think that we're supposed to want a family
: above all else and enjoy our children more than anything else.
Bravo, Lori! Very well said. I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but
I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm sometimes envious of my brother
and sister-in-law's childless lifestyle. However, as I sent my oldest
off to kindergarten this last fall, I felt this huge sense of freedom and
realized that the really high-stss, labor-intensive first years DO, in
fact, have an end, and once again I'll be able to partake in those
couples activities that tend to keep the marriage part of family life in
good shape. Having young children is really hard on a woman's career.
Surely there are exceptions, but it is most always the women who have to
stay out of work if the kids are sick, or the sitter cancels, etc..
By the time I get through all my schooling, my youngest will be 7, and
out of those frequently-ill years...
(please note I'm writing this as I smell my baby's 3rd poopy diaper of
the morning from across the room and I've just written 2 big checks to
20th Century Investments for my little darlings' college educations... ouch!)
Suzie
